Funny Reasons Southern Utah Could Host Next Olympic Games

The Olympic games are set to begin in Paris. Paris will be nice, but imagine the Olympics in Southern Utah—a desert oasis where vacation rentals outnumber people and the sun could bake cookies on the sidewalk.

First, let's talk navigation. Athletes won’t get lost because we not only give directions including local landmarks we would probably personally escort them to their venues. Plus, with breathtaking red rock vistas, even a wrong turn is a scenic adventure.

Now, picture the swimming events. Forget deep pools; athletes will splash their way through the shallow waters of the Virgin River. Speed is great, but who knew finesse in shallow water could be so compelling?

Outdoor events in St. George come with a bonus feature: extreme heat. Talk about pushing Olympians to their limits. And don’t worry about hydration; the abundance of local soda mix venues will add a sweet touch to the grueling events.

Trade television coverage for live action coverage. The vibrant theater industry in Southern Utah can reenact the action on the stage, as a musical, a Shakespearean, Neil Simon or community play.

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Volunteers? Southern Utahns don’t just volunteer; they show up in droves, likely expecting Olympians to return the favor by helping with other community chores.

Finally, our healthcare is top-notch. Athletes will be in good hands, with medical facilities that are the envy of the nation. Twisted ankle? How about whole health restitution.

So, let’s bring the Olympics to Southern Utah where charm meets global competition. The only downside is that most of the Olympic community will want to stay.