Karl Malone vs Post Malone: Who Wins In Extreme Ironing?
In Utah there are a couple of Malones that are popular. Karl Malone was a power forward for the Utah Jazz during the glory years. Post Malone is a popular rapper that makes his home in Cottonwood Heights and has mentioned the state in a song and interviews. In a competition, I’m not sure who is more popular in the beehive state.
Speaking of competitions, SBNation asked who would win in a basketball game. They broke down the Mailman’s current age and ability compared to the much younger musician. It was still heavily favored for the former NBA star. In a rap battle, it would surely go to Post Malone in a similar landslide.
So, let’s go with something neither are known for. I’m thinking of the sport “Extreme Ironing”. It is what it sounds like. Here’s a description from an Extreme Ironing site:
Extreme ironing is an outdoor sport that combines the danger and excitement of an “extreme” sport with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt.
It involves taking an iron and board to remote locations and ironing a few items of laundry.
This can involve ironing on a mountainside, preferably on a difficult climb, or taking an iron skiing, scooting, or canoeing.
Who wins when it comes to pressing a shirt in extreme places? I think we would have to look at some factors.
Athletic Ability: Post is younger, Karl stays in great shape and hunts a lot. Edge to Karl.
Dexterity: Ironing a shirt takes more than sliding hot metal over fabric. Karl can probably still slam a basketball. Post plays video games. Edge Post.
Competitiveness: Post may like to win, but Karl is probably still bent at being so close to two titles. Edge Karl
Willingness to Participate: Karl tried all-star wrestling; Post hangs out with musicians. Edge Post
It’s all tied up. Who takes it in the battle of the Malones? Unless John Stockton is somehow involved in the setup, I’m giving it to Post. I think he puts in more effort into how his clothes look.