The other day during a vacation with his son's family my brother Dave, in a fit of amusement park zeal, lifted one of the little kids for a mini roller coaster ride while they were sitting on their kiddie bike. As he did he got 3 reactions:
- his back warning him that too many more of those moves would be enough to teach him the joy of living horizontal
- his son giving him a haunted look of, "What have you begun?"
- and, of course, the child screaming, "Again, Again", before the move was even complete
We have all done it in a moment of holiday generosity you do something you wish you had never started but with fierce veracity that thing turns into the next Christmas tradition that everyone counts on. "If we don't do that it's just not Christmas", they say.
Here is a list of Utah traditions I have been a part of that I am guessing you are pining to dismantle.
Elf on a Shelf:
Sure it is amazing to see what elaborate trouble the elf got into overnight, but you didn't expect it to turn into an elf village with each member of the community having their own prop-filled story to tell.
Hand Mixed, Eggwhite-Folded, Christmas Eve Waffles with Fresh Fruit, Home Made Buttermilk Syrup:
They are delicious, but you have to start whipping the egg whites on the 5th day of Christmas and shopping 3 stores to find out-of-season fruits that somehow will be edible. Also, why did you cut them into Holiday shapes that one year?
Dudley Dursley's "1 More Present Than Last Year" Tradition:
Remember that year when you noted that everyone got more this year? You felt the resolve happen as you heard yourself say it out loud. Each recipient's ear perked up and made it law before you could counter that you were just trying to be grateful.
Giving the Reindeer a Chef's Salad:
It started with one of the nice teachers at school reminding your kid that the reindeer might like a carrot as a treat to go with Santa's cookies. At first, a carrot out of the bag was fine, but you got cute that one year, and now you are making a complete Cobb salad, and not just for one animal. It turned out that same kid learned math and how much 8 reindeer could eat especially after a long night of pulling a sleigh. When did your side table turn into the salad portion of an all-u-can-eat buffet?
Well, good luck, and maybe when you have that cute idea you can think of your walk with the ghost of future pains of Christmas and just Bah the Humbug out of that one idea.