Oh Great! 9 Traumatizing Places To Celebrate Thanksgiving
Ah, Thanksgiving – the time for gratitude, family, and feasting. While many are envisioning a Norman Rockwell-esque celebration, some unfortunate souls might find themselves in less-than-ideal locations. Here's a rundown of 9 downer places to spend Thanksgiving Day:
1. Manti Turkey Farm : There's nothing wrong with turkey farming, but celebrating Thanksgiving on a turkey farm is like having a New Year's Eve party in a clock factory – if you haven't had a good harvest by now you probably missed it. Plus, those unsold dinner companions are probably eyeing you judgmentally.
2 The Emergency Room
Yes, many of us have graced that room. The nature of a holiday often teases us to push our limits, but the knife is supposed to be used to carve the turkey, not the patient. Also, on one Thanksgiving Day ER visit our doctor told us he was from out of town and the care seemed shall we say a little rushed.
3 Family Members' House That Politically Disagrees with You
It's bound to happen, you can only gel with so many family members, but it is a bummer when you are trying to stuff your mouth so you don't accidentally share your opinion on a surprisingly charged topic. Attempting to navigate the minefield of differing political opinions at the family table is like trying to carve the Thanksgiving turkey with a butter knife. I said, "Pass the gravy, not the attitude".
4 Unemployment Line
I've been there more times than I wish to admit. Maybe not in a line, but seriously worried about the payment of dinner and what to do after the big day. Stress is not my favorite side dish for the big feast, but somehow we make it work.
5 On a bus trying to get to dinner
Nothing screams "festive" like spending Thanksgiving stuck on a bus, inhaling the aroma of reheated fast food from the guy sitting next to you. Next year maybe you skip the river and the woods and just eat at home.
6 Deployed in the Middle East
I've talked to a lot of my buddies who say the military takes care of them on the holiday and that the food is actually very good. I can't get over the fact that instead of worrying about dirty utensils you have to be worried about, well, dirty bombs. I raise my glass to the brave who protect our freedom through the holidays.
7 At Your Own Party for One
You might get the best seat in the house, but when you're the only one at the party, it's a party for none. The upside? No political debates and all the leftovers are yours. The downside? Your only dinner companion is your reflection in the mashed potatoes.
8 Incarcerated in Utah State Correctional Facility
Sure you get a great view of Great Salt Lake and you have fellow inmates to eat with, but it's a downer. Family might visit which is nice, and if you do bump into that holiday conflict you have a protective glass between you and your frustrating uncle, but it's still prison.
9 The Kiddie Table
Ah, the kiddie table – where dreams of graduating to the adult table go to die. If you're stuck here, just remember: someday, you'll get to carve the turkey without adult supervision.
When to Start Thawing Your Thanksgiving Turkey in the Fridge
Gallery Credit: Travis Sams