Utah and Nevada: The Ultimate Virtue Showdown

WalletHub recently did a study to determine the sinliest state. And while it might not be a surprise to anyone who has participated in a Saints to Sinners event where they ran, biked, walked and/or crawled from Salt Lake to Las Vegas, it is interesting that the stats according to WalletHub agree.

I mean what are the chances that the two extremes would be border states? It seems like culturally the law of entropy would influence each other to some lukewarm mean. But now we stand as if in opposition to one another, while you might make a very solid case to some significant misdeeds in Utah, I thought it would be fun to play out the two extremes in a sports analogy. Like what if we got the states to jointly participate in a moral tug of war.

Arch: "Welcome to our coverage of the Virtue Showdown. It's Utah vs. Nevada at the Great State Line Arena. A cloud shaped blimp has just floated over us, yes of course this game is sponsored by Goodyear, with an emphasis on good. I'm Archie the Angel and along with me we have Sinful Sid".

Sid: "Bad morning to you all, I hope your team loses spiraling you down into..."

Arch: "OK...And Utah starts strong with a powerful display of community service! Look at those volunteers helping neighbors shovel snow and donating baked goods to charity. Truly heartwarming teamwork."

Sid: "Meanwhile, Nevada is… handing out free drinks at the slot machines? I mean, that’s community right there."

Arch: "Utah is in top form. Look at that, they’ve just raised a record-breaking amount for local charities, and the crowd is going wild! But wait Nevada’s not out yet! Their team is… oh, they’ve set up an all-night buffet. A bold strategy, but not exactly virtuous. Let’s call that a questionable play."

Sid: "Let's call you a questionable announcer. Come on, look at that aged seafood, and they're overcharging, genius."

Arch: "Hmmm."

Sid: "You know it's not all about the game let's check out the half time show."

Arch: "Right you are Sid, the competition seems to have bled into the halftime show. Wow what a spectacle! Utah’s bringing out the Tabernacle Choir, while Nevada counters with… Elvis impersonators and a chorus of singing, um you kids might want to close your eyes."

Sid: "Back to the game, Nevada is on the offensive, tossing out temptations left and right—jackpots, shiny casinos and and all-you-can-eat crab legs left over from the buffet!"

Arch: "But Utah’s defense is impenetrable pulling ahead with a heartfelt display of forgiveness and neighborly love. It’s pure poetry in motion."

Sid: "Nevada’s making a last-ditch effort with a flashy fireworks show and some top-tier entertainment. Oh come on you $&%#! get your heads into the game."

Arch: "And that's the whistle/trumpet! With Utah winning and sliding Nevada into last place. Sorry Nevada, good luck next time."

Sid: "yeah you can shove it where..."

Arch: "OK, this has been your coverage of this years Virtue Showdown."