Could Steel Pier Find New Life In Utah’s Red Rock Country?

From Atlantic Waves to Red Rock Rides

Southern Utah, get ready to think bigger. New Jersey’s iconic Steel Pier amusement boardwalk is reportedly on the market for $85 million, and we have a perfectly reasonable question: Why should the East Coast have all the fun?

If Lake Havasu could acquire the London Bridge and plop it into the Arizona desert, why can’t Southern Utah adopt an entire amusement pier? Forget another luxury subdivision. We’re talking about bringing a slice of Atlantic City straight to the red rocks.

The World’s Most Confusing Beach

First, we’d need somewhere to put it. Sand Hollow Reservoir seems like a promising candidate. Sure, there’s no ocean, but details like that have never stopped a good tourism pitch.

We could rename it Steel Pier at Sand Hollow, complete with carnival rides, saltwater taffy, funnel cakes and a giant sign reading, “Beachfront Property—Some Assembly Required.”

Visitors could ride a Ferris wheel overlooking sandstone cliffs, play boardwalk games for overpriced stuffed dinosaurs, and enjoy the thrilling sensation of being 300 miles from the nearest saltwater breeze.

Surf’s Up, Sort Of

Imagine a wave pool featuring simulated Atlantic storms, a mechanical shark ride, and a boardwalk tram that takes visitors from the parking lot to the funnel cake stand.

Local businesses could sell “Jersey Shore Red Rock” T-shirts. Someone would inevitably open a saltwater taffy shop called The Salty Seagull, complete with imported seagulls from Northern Utah.

 A Million-Dollar Idea (Plus $85 Million)

Would it work? Who knows. But Southern Utah already attracts millions of visitors for scenery, adventure and questionable summer temperatures.

Read More: What To Expect At Lionsback Resort Near Moab

Why not add a transplanted amusement pier to the mix? We might not have an ocean, but we have sunshine, red rocks and enough entrepreneurial optimism to float a boardwalk.

Besides, if the whole thing flops, we can always turn it into a very expensive parking lot.