A New Traffic Light Scheme Could Reflect Vegas’s Wild Side

New Traffic Light Signal

Dave wrote an article about the possibility of a white light being added to our traffic signals to accommodate self-driving vehicles. In a bold move inspired by this new white traffic light, Las Vegas should unveil its own expanded palette of traffic signals—because in sin city, three colors just can't handle the madness.

Las Vegas Should Jump on Board

Purple Light – Activated nightly at 11:07 p.m., drivers watch for this color as it gives street racers the green flag to unleash their inner Fast & Furious. It’s synchronized with EDM bass drops and conveniently disables citizen concern for 90 seconds.

Green Light – Still means go. Unless you’re high on your legal stash, which is still illegal consume while driving, but that seems to be a commonly overlooked detail. Then it means “go... eventually.” Which brings us to...

Neon Green Light – A special hue for those under the influence of legal marijuana. It pulses slowly, encouraging mellow vibes and reminding drivers that the road is not, in fact, melting.

Read More: The 10 MOST DANGEROUS Neighborhoods in Las Vegas!

Golden Amber Light – Flashes precisely at 2:45 p.m. to alert retirees that the early buffet is now open. It overrides all other signals and grants priority lane access to anyone over 65 with a casino rewards card. Think emergency vehicle, but in slow motion.

Pink Light – Reserved for bachelorette parties in stretch Hummers. It signals “caution: glitter fallout ahead.”

And finally, Black Light – Not a traffic signal, just a reminder that everything in Vegas glows under scrutiny.

With this new rainbow of regulation, Vegas drivers are more confused than ever—but at least they’re confused in style.